My Runaway
by skylight717
Summary: When Red Riding Hood runs away from her village after killing Peter, she stumbles upon the Huntsman. Can she escape her guilt over Peter and find comfort in him, or will she only find more heartache?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1:**

_Red:_

My heart pounded, beating to the rhythm of my throbbing head. Above me the sky was in turmoil: streaked with angry shades of red and grey. The ground blurred as I ran; I ran fast... as fast as I could, but not fast enough. All the passing colors melded together, blending into an ugly dirt brown, mixing with my guilt: caging me in. I couldn't escape: I could not avoid the terrible truth. As much as I wanted to, I could not outrun the past.

Branches clawed at my clothes, tearing the red fabric, scathing my skin, scratching my pale face, and catching my raven hair. All I wanted to do was lie down and sleep. I wanted to sleep for all eternity, and not ever wake up. But I knew I couldn't: I couldn't give up; I made my tired feet run onward. My sides were on fire and as I gasped for air; my chest felt like it was splitting apart. My heart was a million pounds, so heavy, weighing me down.

The wind picked up, blowing up dead leaves and scattering debris it it's wake. It howled and it cried: it spoke to me."Too late..." it seemed to shriek in my ear, "Too late..." but I refused to listen. Lies, Lies, Lies. It was all lies! Everywhere I turned the hidden truth mocked me. I didn't care. My whole life had been a lie. "Too late... too late," the wind whispered.

"No!" I shouted back, trying to convince myself. "It's not too late!" But deep down, I could feel it: the terrible truth nestled within my aching chest, deep down I knew it was too late. He was gone. My Peter was gone. Gone forever, and there was no way I could undo what I had done. There was no way to get him back.

A wave of grief overwhelmed me, I couldn't run any longer; I stumbled and fell to my knees. I couldn't hold back my tears any more, they poured down my dirty face, rolling down my cheeks; slowly at first, then, gaining momentum, a torrential downpour, flooding my face , mixing with the blood on my cheeks. Salty, bitter- I was drowning- drowning in my own sorrow. Through my tears, I could barely see the rugged path ahead of me, overgrown with brambles and thorns. My hands trembled as I attempted to get up. I had to keep going.

As I went on, I felt light headed, I didn't know where I was anymore, not to mention who I was- what I was. My body was in turmoil and I couldn't hold it together anymore. I was dimly aware of being in a clearing, a fire burning nearby, illuminating the nearby camp. My world was turned upside down and suddenly I was lying in someone's strong arms, staring up at an unfamiliar face.

"Too late... too late..." the wind howled and then darkness; the deep comfort of nothing.

_Huntsman:_

I was content to live my life in near solitude. The wolves, who raised me, were my friends and family. I didn't need anything but what I could find in the forest. I went to towns infrequently, and usually only on campaigns to save the wilderness, or to get some goods. I didn't want human friends or companions. I had no need for hardly any emotions. There were things I wanted, and I pursued them. I went on adventures when I was bored. Life was simple. But it couldn't stay that way. Order breeds disorder, somehow.

The root of all my troubles was a simple request. Rather, an order. The Evil Queen wanted me to kill her stepdaughter. I thought I could do it. Humans are terrible creatures. All they do in their lives is poison the world. But the girl, Snow White, she was so good-hearted, the first person to ever show me any sympathy. And then I couldn't kill her. I'm not exactly certain why... She had done nothing wrong, truthfully. But the Queen knew immediately of my betrayal. She made me her slave, removing my heart from my body. I even had, well, to sleep with her. But she underestimated me. Enraged with what she made me do, I eventually killed her to escape, and took back my heart.

I made it back to my home in the forest. My dear friend, the wolf with a red eye, was gone. I mourned her for a long time. I felt alone, for the first time in my life. But I felt I gained something, nonetheless. Not only did the Queen's reign of terror end, and Snow would be able to ascend the throne (or so I hoped), and I gained the slightest inkling of trust in humanity.

Above all, I was grateful to be home again, an entirely new person, in many respects. But my life stubbornly refused to return to a semblance of the past.

You see, I noticed something strange one night. I was cooking a deer I'd hunted for dinner. It was late at night, and I was alert. Someone was moving, and it didn't sound like a four-legged creature. But no one usually came to remote areas of the forest. I noticed a figure in shadow weave its way through the surrounding trees. The figure came closer until it became apparent it was a young woman, clad in a striking red cape, gloves, and skirt, and otherwise typical dress. She was sobbing, the tears streaming down her face making trails in the grime. I could see she as she got closer that she was an impossible degree of filthy, her clothes were distressed, and she was coated in mud. She looked terrible, but her mental state was what really caught my attention. I stood up, concerned especially because of her staggering gait. Her shining wet eyes stared blankly, as if not seeing me or my temporary campsite. She stumbled and I quickly ran and caught her in my arms. I checked her pulse on her neck. She had only fainted. I was not used to human company. I had not idea what to do.

I pitied this stranger. A months ago I don't think I would have. But I knew now there were two kinds of humans: the kind that would mock me at every opportunity and the kind that

deserved some help, like Snow. Neither was perfect, but there was a distinction enough for me.

There was something very clearly wrong with her. I decided I should help her, at least a little. I couldn't just leave her, or kill her, when there wasn't any reason to. I easily carried her and lay her in a sleeping sack I made from a bear pelt. She would dirty it, but I could clean the sleeping sac later. I realized she was shaking, but not from cold. She was still sobbing. I felt awkward, and wanted to comfort her. But I didn't know how, and she seemed like she didn't want to be touched. I just left her there, and slept a good amount of feet away. I was nervous about her waking up in an unfamiliar place alone, but at least she wouldn't wake up with a stranger next to her. I had difficulty sleeping, since I was worried and curious about her. But eventually I fell asleep to rhythmic, ragged breaths that came with her emotion.

I woke up to the dawn and the beautiful songs of the birds. But there was still the dilemma of the girl. I decided to ignore it for the moment, I was hungry. I went to the campfire and cooked the bones of yesterday's deer to make a broth. After having my fill I was aware the girl was still asleep. I walked over to her. Her face was crusted with dried tears. But in the bright light I could see her face clearly. She wasn't unattractive, despite her state of ruin. She had slipped out of the bear pelt, revealing her dress. It had a plunging neckline, and the bodice was laced tight. I blushed. Her cape was slipping off so I gently removed it. I inhaled sharply upon seeing bruises and cuts all over her. I wondered if she had kept stumbling through the woods and getting back up again. Where had she been headed, I wondered.

_Red:_

I dreamt. Dark dreams.

I knew they weren't real- but I couldn't escape. I was stuck in the nightmarish world in which I watched myself kill my Peter, over and over again. I couldn't close my eyes, I couldn't turn away, I couldn't stop it. Correction: I could have stopped it, but in my dream, there was something: a feral, predatory instinct- my lust for blood was too strong.

"Peter! Peter, help me!" I would scream helplessly, and there he was. Peter - my love, my life, my savior. I would run my fingers over his face, softly caressing his barely stubbly cheeks, tracing his lips, sinking my hands in his dark hair. "Oh, Peter, how glad I am you came," I would whisper in my dream state, staring deep into his chocolate eyes, "I love you Peter..." I would said as I would lean in to kiss him. My Peter, my darling Peter- my dream self was joyous, yet something was wrong.

I felt a strange hunger. I could have stopped it from happening, but the truth is- I didn't want to stop. In the dream, as our lips met, I could taste him- so beautiful and alive and delicious. Slowly, I would open my eyes and a strangled scream would escape my lips, because in my arms, Peter was no more: just a pile of bones and blood.

I wanted to wake up- I wanted everything to be over, but I couldn't escape the dream, just like I couldn't escape the the truth of what had happened. I could sense another presence, hovering, worrying, caring; the presence entered my dreams, yet I had a feeling that the warmth I felt was real. I longed to open my eyes, I wished that this nightmare I was living would go away, but I was stuck, in this dreadful dreamscape. I was trapped, and I had to watch Peter die, over and over and over. I had to watch me kill him, hear him cry out in pain, and each time it felt like daggers piercing my heart.

I wanted it to be over. Please, make it stop.

I wanted the agony to stop. I don't want to live like this anymore.

I wanted to die.

_Huntsman:_

She didn't matter. She was a girl who had by chance come across me. But I felt compelled to help her, to know her story. It was an new instinct, but it persisted. I convinced myself that I had to pay for the wrong I did by extending just a little bit of charity.

When I decided to give her breakfast she was restless, tossing and turning, often saying the same name over and over. Peter, I think. A soft, continuous mumble. I spooned her some broth, reminding myself to inquire about Peter. I assumed she probably wanted to be taken back to him. I realized, looking at her, that I should probably do something about her filthiness. I decided it was acceptable to remove the dirtiest of her clothing. I gently pulled off her gloves, and ripped off her uppermost skirt, which was in tatters. I went to get a bucket full of water and a rag. I washed her limbs and face, then tended to her wounds with ointment and dressed the most severe injuries. I couldn't touch her without feeling completely humiliated, so I handled her gingerly.

Most of the day I just sat by her, making sure she was okay, etching drawing in the ground, carving wood or whistling as I waited for her to wait up. I left only left to collect firewood or water or to forage and hunt for food. I fed her only crushed berries and soup, since those were the only foods she could consume asleep that I could provide. The day passed without event, without her waking. I retired to bed, hoping she would be responsive soon. Healthy people don't sleep for a whole day.

I was surprised to see she was unconscious the next morning as well. Surely she had at least woken up during the night? But when lunch came I sat next to her to feed her when her eyes finally opened. My heart pounded as I waited for her reaction.

"Where am I? And who are you?" she asked, in a fearful, hoarse voice with barely concealed sorrow.

_"And the tears come streaming down your face_

_When you lose something you can't replace_

_When you love someone, but it goes to waste_

_Could it be worse?_

_Lights will guide you home_

_And ignite your bones_

_And I will try to fix you"_

-Fix you by Coldplay


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2:**

_Huntsman:_

I am caught off guard by her questions.

"I, Uh, for starters... I'm the Huntsman. We are in the Enchanted Forest. You collapsed right near my campsite."

I don't quite know how to speak to her. This situation is beyond what I could have ever forseen.

"I'm... I'm Red." she said, but she hesitates, like wanted to add something else. Perhaps I just imagined it. She noticed her bandages.

"You did this?" she asked quietly.

"It wasn't a problem," I said gruffly, uncomfortable at her eyes filled with gratitude.

"Here's lunch." I said, giving her the soup. She thanked me, and ate it in silence. I grabbed my own meal and consumed it, keeping a little distance from her, afraid of what she thought of me. Me, the hermit who probably needed to comb my hair and bathe. Not that Red looked much better. She quickly finished and she stared at me, but distantly.

"Where did you find me?"

"You collapsed right near my campsite two nights ago."

"I was asleep that long?"

"Yes, you were."

"Do you live by yourself?"

"I... live with nature. I don't enjoy hanging around humans, to be perfectly honest.."

"But you still took care of me."

"What was I supposed to do? You just showed up here."

"I really appreciate it. You gave me everything I needed. But sir, I seem to be missing some of my clothes." she said, turning just slightly pink.

"I cleaned them and hung them out to dry. Here they are," I said, as I grabbed them and handed them to her. I badly wanted to ask her about Peter, but with how Red looked it was likely something tragic happened between them, and I was afraid of broaching such a heavy subject..

"You're very kind, Huntsman. I hope I can somehow repay you," she said as she put her clothes on. She smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. .

"Not kind. I just happen to have enough time and resources to help you out a bit." I mustered up the courage to ask what I was dying to know.

"Do you mind telling me how you ended up so far from civilization?" I asked curiously.

_Red:_

I studied the Huntsman, this wild-looking man with a strange but soothing accent. I wasn't sure how to respond. What was I supposed to say? _Hey mister, I just happen to be a werewolf?_ If I told him the truth, would he turn me out, horrified at what I was- what I had _done_? I looked into his deep blue eyes, and something fell into place- I felt like I could trust this strange man. He had been so kind, and I didn't want to lie anymore. I opened my mouth and the words streamed out, fast flowing and frightened. I wanted to get this weight off my chest. I wanted to get rid of these secrets, but at the same time I was terrified. What if he hated me? Would he pull back in fear and disgust?

My hands trembled as I held my empty soup bowl and my mouth moved a mile a minute. There was no stopping me then: the words would not cease. I started with the destruction of my village: the mysterious deaths and the deadly animal that plagued my people. I went on to describe Gran. I started to smile.

Then, my smile faded, as I continued to tell my tale. I recounted the not so happy memories of Gran firmly telling me not to venture outside after dark, sleeping in my red cloak, wishing I could go out to see Peter. I started to tear up as I talked about Peter. My voice faded to a hoarse whisper and there was an uncomfortable itching in my throat. Finally, I told the Huntsman of Peter's death, finding out that _I _had killed him- that I had killed them all... By the time my story was over, the subtle warmth of the sun has almost completely disappeared. The sky was turning a crimson shade of red as the sun sank below the treetops. Until now, I had kept my eyes firmly focused on my pale fingers, and then I cautiously lifted my gaze to the Huntsman. His face was still, as stoic as ever, jaw firmly set, but to my surprise his eyes were glistening, as if he had felt my pain.

_Huntsman_:

"I'm really sorry, Red." I was at a loss for words. Her story was truly dreadful. But I noted my voice was colored with some emotion for once. I usually tried to hide any trace of sympathy, but I couldn't help it then.

"Thank you, but I'm a monster. You shouldn't have me here. I'm dangerous. I should leave. Th-"

I grabbed her by the arm, preventing her from standing up. I didn't feel right, touching her, but I wasn't about to let her wander around in the forest.

"Don't leave. You're not well enough, and these woods are perilous. Besides, wolves may be dangerous and wild, but they're still incredible creatures. They can be so caring, even if people think they're just cold and evil." I flushed a little bit, I couldn't help sharing my passion for wolves. But it felt wrong to say at that moment.

"You don't understand! When there's a full moon, I don't become a wolf- I'm a _monster_. A killer. No human can easily subdue me!

"I've spent my whole life protecting myself from whatever beings lurk here. You won't be able to kill me that easily. And anyway, the next full moon won't come for a while. You have time to figure it out. I'm sure soon you'll be able to control yourself and be in society again." Long conversation was new to me. I didn't feel incredibly eloquent.

"I don't see how. And thank you so much for all you've done, but I'm perfectly well thanks to you, I should leave." I let her stand up this time, but I stood up too.

"You'll die if you leave. You have no way to fend for yourself."

"I don't care. I should die. And I don't need a man, or anyone, to help me, I don't deserve to have anyone's kindness anymore. I won't make you help me any more than you already have." she sounded determined. But I was more determined.

"You're definitely not well. You're... emotionally unstable, and those cuts of yours might get infected. And I am the only one who's not ridiculously far away and who's willing and capable of keeping you alive while you work everything out."

"I'm really grateful, but I don't care if I die anymore, I told you, and you don't either."

"I don't really care, because I don't know you, but I'd feel guilty if you died. Do me and yourself a favor by staying here." she seemed less confident in herself now.

"Alright. But I _will_ repay you somehow, when I find a way how." she gave in. I exhaled. She wasn't going to hurt herself. But then I wondered if I'd gotten myself into a bad situation. I prayed I didn't.

The next month with Red was interesting. The experience was new for both of us. It's safe to say life became rather interesting, which I... enjoyed. She had much to learn about surviving in the harshness of the wild, and I taught her everything I knew. I hunted, foraged, fished, and built more comfortable shelters with her. I even helped her make a comb. We were alone, so obviously we talked quite a bit. In this way, not only was I teaching her, she taught me how to be sociable with humans. At first we talked about relatively simple things. What we liked, what our early lives were like, what was hard about life and our dreams for the future. She didn't really have any. She still wanted to die. I wanted to help her, since her story inspired quite a bit of pity. She needed to move on in her life. I wanted, I think, to see her move on, to know I made a difference in someone's life. I was also pleased to live a new way, even if it wouldn't last long.

After about a week, I pressed her about the recent traumatic events that had transpired. I started by asking her if she felt at fault. She said she did. I convinced her to talk more in detail about what happened. She started to see that maybe it was all an accident. We talked over her experience many times over, and at first she hated talking about it but she gradually opened up. I told her that Peter would want her to be happy, not spend her whole life depressed. Her Grandmother always loved Red even if she killed, so why would that change now? After everything I tried to do to help her, she was still heartbroken. But she saw her situation in a new perspective. She had meant well, even though it ended tragically. And she was still alive. She could do so many things with her life. I tried my hardest to make Red feel better, and I think I helped, if only a little.

In return for her telling me about her past, I told her all about mine. She didn't like hearing me recount how I stabbed a man after he insulted me. She seemed unsettled when I told her about the Evil Queen. Red was sympathetic I'd been captured and made a slave, but I couldn't bring myself to admit Regina had forced me to be intimate with her. I just couldn't.

We had many meaningful conversations, and many happy moments of friendship. It was a little awkward at times though, when we had to do things separately. Every night we slept in our sleeping sacks, so far away from each other. I didn't want to be reminded of the fact that I was male and she was female. I felt a sort of bond with her. I wondered how she thought of me. I was confused about what I thought about her, precisely. She was in fact so much like a wolf: beautiful, strong, charismatic.

She made me feel... strange. I love being with her, talking to her, laughing with her...

Do I love her?

No, I can't. That would be unfair. She was the only person I'd ever gotten to know well. And to her I was just this savage man, who was kind enough to let her live here. Nothing more.

One day I looked closely at the calendar I kept, written on birch bark and nailed to a tree, and my heart raced. I realized the full moon was fast approaching. We had seven days until I would lose Red and be forced to face a monster.

_Red:_

"Dammit!" I threw down the bow in frustration. As it turned out, I didn't have much of a hunting streak- as a human, that is. I bit my lip and pouted- wiping away a tear or two away. Normally, I wouldn't be this emotional, but it _was_ that time of month after all. I glanced upward, and sighed in relief. The sun was high in the sky: I still had time... I shuddered to think of the impending nightfall and the fine hairs on the back of my neck stood up. I was scared, so terribly frightened that it was hard to hear the sound of my own thoughts above the jumbled sound of my inner panic. As I tried to maintain a calm facade my whole body tensed and I could feel my fear running through my veins, sending my stomach into my mouth, making my breath catch in my throat. I clenched my fists, angry, upset; I hated this so much, I hated being what I was. I hated the wolf part of me.

"What happened?" A now familiar voice startled me out of my frightened state. I quickly wiped my troubled tears away as I turned around to face the Huntsman.

"I just can't get it right!" I forced the words out with a wobbly smile, but my efforts just gave way to more tears. Why am I so damn emotional! I picked up the weapon once more and held it in my trembling fingers.

"Red, it's alright if you're nervous." He looked at me, his blue eyes meeting mine, "You can do this. I know you're strong." He was behind me now, so close. My body tensed as my back touched his chest... "Look," he gently positioned my arm across the bow, guiding mine with his, steadying my shaky fingers with his sturdy ones. I was surprised to find his touch strangely comforting. As we stayed pressed together, I could feel him breathing and I envied his constant calm-

"Now," the Huntsman whispered into my ear, guiding my aim. I could hear the animal before the I could see it, as it wandered into the clearing, so innocent: naive. "Go," the hunter nodded and I released the arrow. It happened so quickly, and before I knew it, the deer had fallen.

I had the sudden urge to smile at my success, to laugh, to shout, I, Red, was _not_ a failure! But, as I turned around to glance at the Huntsman, I couldn't bring myself to do so. His face was neither jubilant, nor relieved, and in a deep, solemn silence he approached the felled creature. As if in a trance, he sat down by it, his back to me, as he stroked his pelt. The Huntsman opened his mouth and whispered to the animal, so softly, I couldn't hear him.

I walked over to the corpse, and put a hand on The Huntsmans shoulder, and sank to the ground with him. "I'm so sorry," I told the animal, the animal _I_ had killed. I didn't feel any joy at my accomplishment- no, accomplishment wasn't the right word, more like my- my _crime. _Guilt ran through me, melding with my resurfacing fear, _I am so, so, sorry. _I formed the words in my head, directing them at the no longer breathing animal before me. I had stopped its breath, I had taken away its life. How could I have done that!? How could I have murdered so many? _I am so sorry, _images of Peter flashed by me, in my head I could see all those people I had killed, lying on the cold ground: lifeless. Much to my annoyance, the tears came once more, bitter, angry. I tried to turn my head away, in an attempt to hide my sorrow, but it was of no use. _I'm evil, _I thought, _I am evil, I don't deserve to live... not when everyone else I cared about is dead. _

As if reading my mind, the Huntsman was there, holding me in his strong arms as I cried on his shoulder. "It's not your fault. It was out of your control-"

"I'm sorry," I said, feeling foolish, "I'm not usually this- this... snotty..." I gave a half hearted laugh, wiping my nose on the edge of my sleeve, trying to dry away the tears for what seemed like the ten billionth time that day. "I'm really, sorry..." I said again, eyeing the tear stains I had left on the Huntsmans jacket, "I've ruined your clothes... I'm such a bad guest!"

"Guest?" he replied, "You're a bit more than a guest, don't think? You've been here for almost a month-"  
"I don't mean to burden you," my guilt returned, I didn't want to trouble the Huntsman, after all he had done for me, he was so kind, and caring...

"You're not a burden!" he exclaimed, "I didn't mean it like that! I really like- I mean, you're my friend... I would hate if you left... I think you're..." his face reddened slightly, as he trailed off, unsure how to finish the sentence.

Laughing nervously, I tried to avoid an awkward silence, "I've got butterflies, what if something goes wrong tonight?"

"Nothing is going to go wrong, not as long as I'm here." I smile at these words breathing deeply, once I had realized that I had lost my cape while stumbling through the forest that fateful night, the Huntsman and I had come up with a plan, so that no one would get hurt during my next transformation. At first, I was skeptical, but the Huntsman had convinced me to stay and see this through.

"Should we go over the plan again?" the Huntsman asked me.

"No, I think I've got it down..." I said, blushing as I realized that the Huntsman and I were awkwardly close. His arms were wrapped around me, in a tight embrace, and my head rested on his shoulder. I let my gaze waver over his face, examining his handsome features. I hadn't noticed them before, and I was surprised to see that the Huntsman was rather good looking. As I lifted my head, our noses almost touched.

"I'm sorry," we both exclaimed, in unison. I could feel my face grow hot, and I could see the Huntsman's face was flushed. Quickly, we disentangled ourselves, and for a split second, I longed to be in his arms again, to feel his warmth once more. I shook the fleeting thought away, driving it from my mind- what a silly notion... to think that the Huntsman and I could ever share something like that.

We walked into camp, carrying the deer I had killed and I ached. I could handle carrying the animal, but inside, my heart felt heavy. I still felt bad, but my initial grief was long gone. The Huntsman explained that even though he grieved the animal, he was also thanking it for it's life and what it had given us. The Huntsman believed it had died for a noble cause, yet I wasn't so sure. Perhaps becoming a vegetarian wasn't so bad.

As I set the carcass down, I glanced at the pile of chains lying around the base of the big oak under which I normally slept. I took a deep breath, glancing at the sky again, and felt my stomach clench again. I swallowed, trying to force my discomfort down my tight throat. If I started crying one more fucking time, I thought I might just kill myself. I glanced around, to make sure that if I _did_ break down in tears, no one would be there to witness my embarrassment. _Good_, I thought, sighing in relief, the Huntsman was nowhere in sight.

Walking over to the tree, looked up, staring into the layers of the canopy. It was a strong oak, and I had spent many nights, lying at its base. The Huntsman was right, I had spent an awful lot of time here, in his camp. I glanced fondly at the fire pit he had dug, the juniper bushes growing by the side of the clearing waved pleasantly in the wind I was surprised to find a small smile creeping up my lips. This was home. I knew that now, this _my_ home. The Huntsman and I, we shared this thing- it was ours, and I knew I would try my best not to destroy what we had tonight.

Tonight.

This was when it was going to happen.  
Even though the evening air was pleasantly warm, I shivered as I looked out into the sunset.

Sunset?!

Fuck.

I scrambled to get into position, twisting and tying the chains up as tight as I could, but it was no good. My fingers trembled uncontrollably, shitshitshit... then to my relief a firm hand grasped my arm.

"Steady there, Red," of course, it was the Huntsman. He methodically helped me fasten the chains, binding me to the tree.

"Go," I whispered, my voice thick and hoarse, "I don't want you to see this." If I killed the Huntsman, like all the others, like _Peter_, I- _I'M NOT THINKING ABOUT THIS! _I told myself fiercely, _Think positive, Red_. I was on the brink of hyperventilation. I closed my eyes briefly, then opened them, and found myself face to face with the Huntsman.

"I'm not leaving you alone, Red." I could tell that the Huntsman was not about to back down, but neither was I. I shot him my toughest stare, "No- if you get hurt- "

"I won't," the Huntsman looked at me under his own piercing gaze and I wilted. I was scared, so terribly frightened- I hated the thought of being alone, _Don't be so selfish! _my subconscious righteousness reprimanded me, but the damage was done, I had let my cowardice overcome my common sense.

"Fine," I replied, a bit too quickly, hoping that the relief I felt didn't reveal itself in my voice, "but you have to promise me something."

"Anything," I looked at the Huntsman and I knew that he meant it, wholeheartedly. My peripheral vision sees the sun, growing smaller as it disappeared below the horizon, and I felt my throat drop into my stomach.

I was running out of time.

"If things get... out of hand...Shoot me ," I gestured toward the bow and arrows strung on his back. I looked up at him, and saw that he was taken aback by my request, but he nodded - he was no fool, he knew what must be done. In the almost-dark, I could see his eyes twinkling, like stars: beautiful, mysterious. The feelings I had felt earlier flooded back, filling me until thought I might burst. I longed to feel his touch once more, to feel the warmth of his skin, to smell his smell-

"Huntsman?" _he really needs a name_, I thought. In the dim light, I could see him him and I longingly ran my eyes over his body, "I really-" I didn't finished what I was about to say, as a shiver ran through me, forcing me to the ground.  
I groaned in pain, sounding inhuman- this transformation was different. I knew what was happening, I knew what I was.

A louder sound escaped me, and I was on fire; I could feel the flames dancing inside of me, threatening to spill outwards. It hurt, and I felt like my heart was breaking- splitting into little pieces- there was nothing that could ease this pain. The chains deftly wrapped around me rattled, and the sound filled my ears. I could feel the wolf now, she was there, inside of me, taking over. I was no longer Red, I was something else. I felt new found power surge through my body and I was _alive_. Then, something snapped, and I couldn't feel anythinganymore.

"_There's a place that I know_

_It's not pretty there and few have ever gone_

_If I show it to you now_

_Will it make you run away_

_Or will you stay_

_Even if it hurts_

_Even if I try to push you out_

_Will you return?_

_And remind me who I really am_

_Please remind me who I really am_

_everybody's got a dark side_

_do you love me?_

_can you love mine?"_

-Dark Side by Kelly Clarkson


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3:**

_Red:_

The world came back to me.  
First: the sounds- a cicada. Birds tweeting sweetly.

Then: I could see once more- leaves, trees, light. The sun, peeping over the horizon, rising: higher, higher, filling the sky.

My bare feet sank into the dew covered grass and confusion filled me, making me feel fuzzy and disoriented. _What happened? _

_Oh, god._The chains rattled around me- faint memories returned Last night- the transformation... the Huntsman. The Huntsman! He was there, I could see his strong figure, his gaze fiercely fixed on me. Quickly, he strode towards me, relief betrayed on his face.

"So, you didn't have to shoot me after all," I made a weak attempt to lighten the mood, but my smile gave way to small strangled sob. I wasn't sad, no- I was... relieved. I was so incredibly happy, I was back, Red was back- I was me, now, not some creature. No one was dead, so why was I crying? For what seemed like the trillionth time this week.

I swallowed uncontrollably as the Huntsman unfastened my bonds, trying to force the tears down my tightening throat.

"You were here, awake all night with me?" I questioned, slightly disbelieving- he would risk his own life for me?

"Yeah. It wasn't too hard," the Huntsman said modestly, lying.

"Thank you." I whispered, and I meant it. I really, truly meant it.

"I'm so glad you're alright," he said, taking my shaky hands in his own.

My heart fluttered- he really cared about me! I relished the feel of his skin, touching mine, and I didn't pull my hands away, instead I wrapped my fingers tighter around his. Our faces were so close, and then our foreheads touched.

"You were going to tell me something..." he whispered so softly, I could barely hear it above the loud beating of my heart and the rushing of my blood, "Before the transformation...?"

_Yes, _I remembered, I _was_ going to say something, but now I knew that I didn't have to, not when I could _show _him what I meant.

It all happened so fast. Our mouths met, interlocking I could feel the Huntsman, his strong hands, in my hair- on my back- around my waist. He smelled like fire, the woods... right before the rain. Breaking the kiss, I put my head to his chest, feeling the steady thudding of his heart, our breaths combining as one-

"I love you..." I said softly. I stared deep into his eyes, waiting for his reaction. He cupped my chin and I knew that we were thinking the same thing.

Huntsman:

When we kissed, I felt like it was all I ever wanted. I couldn't think anymore. I pulled her closer, just wanting to be there with Red forever. But we broke the kiss eventually, and we just looked into each others' eyes. I ran my fingers through her hair, so many thoughts resounding in my head, but ultimately I couldn't stop thinking about her. She was perfect, beautiful in every sense of the word. There was so much I wanted to tell her about how much I cared for her. But then, the nagging part of my in the back of my mind knew something was wrong about this. I quickly broke the silence once I knew the only thing I could say.

"I love you too, Red. But..."

"Shhhh" she put a finger on my lips, before sliding down to my chin, and kissing me again. Fiercely, passionately, genuinely. Our tongues intertwined, as did the whole of our bodies. I wished we could have truly melded together. I never wanted to leave her side. But then she pulled back and rested her head on my chest.

"Well?" she asked playfully.

I was too stunned to speak for a second. Then I regained my composure, and found the words to express how I felt.

"But this isn't right. You know it. Just over a month ago, Peter died. It's too early."

She looked extremely taken back. I expected her to let go of me, but she put her head on my shoulder.

"We found each other. This is real." she whispered, almost pleadingly. She seemed in a trance.

I gently grabbed her arms and took them off me, making her look at me directly while I held her hands.

"Red, this is really difficult for me to say. But on top of being emotionally damaged, we've been living alone in the woods. We're acting irrationally."

"We can have everything. We can have a future together and move on from our pasts." she said, so sincerely I believed it for a second. But no, it wasn't possible.

"We have no future. We live out here. You can't be happy here forever." I told her, trying to make her understand. "And you deserve so much better than me."

"But I only want _you_."

"This can't happen, as much as I want it to."

"We'll figure it out, if you want to be with me. But if you don't, you should tell me now," she said resolutely.

I had a choice. I could stop the madness, deny myself what was unreasonable for me to want. But I couldn't.

"Of course I want this. I want you more than _anything. _We just have to be careful, you know, take it slow."

"I understand." she said solemnly. I pulled her close and kissed her once more. When it was over, she sank into me.

"I owe you everything. I would be dead without you. It's not fair. I haven't done anything for you." she whispered.

"Nonsense. Where would I be without you, Red? Alone, depressed... There would always be a hole in my heart."

There was a long silence as we continued to just cling to each other, neither of us wanting to let go.

"It's only dawn, and I think we should rest," I finally declared.

"You're right. I'm exhausted and you must be too."

For the first time, we didn't sleep so coldly apart. We shared a sleeping sack, and I was so content to hold her, feeling her heartbeat against mine. I thought it was incredible. I had loved her for so long, and I suppressed it, because I thought it would never happen. But here she was.

That was my last thought as I drifted off into blissful sleep.

Red:

I let the water trickle over me, falling on my chest, clinging to my hair. The droplets caught the light, sparkling prettily in all different colors of the rainbow. The summer wind whistled by me, friendly now. I held up my arms, rejoicing , letting the stream's current lift me up and down as I danced around on my tiptoes, reveling in my moment of childish glory. I nearly laughed out loud, then stopped myself, I was being silly. I splashed the water, running my hands over my body. Then, suddenly, my ears perked up and my heart paused for a beat. Was it just my imagination, or did I hear something rustle in the thick undergrowth at the side of the stream?

I knew now, I knew that something was not quite right. Suddenly, the stream was a raging river. I struggled to keep my head above water, but as I floundered I could see a figure emerge, and I cried out in horror. The figure- it- no, _she_ - was me.

"Help me! I can't swim!" I pleaded, reaching out to my other self, but she- _I?- _just scoffed.

"Why would I help _you_?" her words were cruel, cold- calculating, almost _evil. _

"But..." I say, confused, "You are me- we're the same."

"Not true." She shook her head slyly, "You and me? We are _very_ different..." and now she began to change, her features melding together to form an entirely different creature: a wolf. "I'm the _real_ Red," she states defiantly, even as a wolf, she could still speak and her voice is soft and alluring- dangerous.

"Help!" My drowning self cried out, voice fading as the water started to take over. But hope was not lost.

"Red!" The Huntsman was here. _He_ was going to save me! I reached out my tired arms, as he offered me his own. But- there she was, the _other _Red: the _wolf _Red, caressing him while I drowned.

"What's the hurry? Wait for a while," she purred, pulling him in for a kiss, "Wait with me."

"No!" I tried to say, but the words never came out, instead my mouth was filled with water. As I sank, I saw them kissing: the Huntsman and the Wolf, and I couldn't do anything: I was helpless. Then, I could have sworn, the wolf Red looked at me and smiled as her claws shot out, tearing out the Huntsman's heart. His eyes flashed in surprise, then he fell into the River, his body staining the water scarlet, with blood.

"No!" I sank, "No!" but it was too late. The wolf had won.

I woke up, gasping for air, as though I had _really_ been drowning. My face was slick with sweat and my hands trembled as I lifted them up to wipe my brow. I wasn't the first time I had had _The Dream. _Each time, it was different, but it all ended with the wolf killing the Huntsman. Each time, the wolf would win. I shivered, and I had to remind myself that it wasn't real. I glanced down at my Huntsman, safe and sound asleep beside me: his face open, peaceful. _What is _he _dreaming about? _I wondered, _Something good, I bet. _I lay there, listening to him breathe, letting the steady rhythm calm me as the crisp, early morning light entered my eyes.

_Time to get up_, I told myself, mimicking Granny's firm voice in my mind. _Oh, Granny... if you could see me now... _I thought wistfully, but then pushed the wish aside. I was being selfish, I had all I needed right here, besides, Granny had her hands full, running the village.

I sighed and got to my feet, placing a soft kiss on the Huntsmans cheek, careful not to wake him up. He was so adorable when he was asleep, not that he wasn't attractive enough when he was awake. I found my heart racing a little when I looked at the Huntsman, it was like I was falling in love all over again, each time I woke up and saw him sleeping beside me.

I laughed, quietly to myself. I felt like a storybook character, thinking all these silly, love struck thoughts, but I was so certain that I had really found my Happily Ever After. After I dressed, I began to tend the fire, which had died out during the night. It was becoming warm enough that soon, we wouldn't have to keep the fire going all the time.

As I bent over the wood, striking the rocks together, I thought about the Huntsman, he was constantly on my mind, and it gave me a satisfaction to know that he was _mine_. I still thought about Peter, though- I still loved him. But it wasn't the same. Peter: he was my childhood sweetheart, now I didn't feel like a child any more. I knew he would have wanted me to be happy, and I was.

There. As the rocks smashed together, a spark flew, igniting the kindling, almost like magic- but not quite. I had seen actual magic before, a long time ago when I was a little girl. The flames crackled, louder than I had anticipated, snapping, spinning: dancing. I watched them spiral: fixated, entranced. How could something be so beautiful, yet so dangerous?

The Huntsman had told me I was beautiful.f

I was also dangerous.

"So what's for breakfast?" the Huntsman put his arms around my waist, wrapping me in a bear hug as he kissed me. I was so mesmerized by the flames that I didn't hear the Huntsman creeping up behind me.

"How about a kiss?" I suggested, and he laughed, pulling me in close. As our mouths collided, a shiver of longing ran through my body. My bones buzzed and hummed, and I longed for more... for more than this kiss. I placed my hands on the Huntsmans bare skin, his abs flexed and as I layed my head on his chest, I could hear his heart thudding: quick, excited. His hands lingered on my neckline, but to my disappointment he didn't slip them underneath my shirt and returned them to my waist. I knew he wanted me just as much as I wanted him, but he was hesitant; _afraid_. Not that he would ever admit that, he was too proud for that- but I could tell. I could understand, too. Something had happened to the Huntsman, something _bad_. As my fingers roamed his body and I felt him freeze up, so I pulled away, every ounce of my body, screaming, longing, aching for his touch.

"You know I love you?" I asked, searching his face, desperate for recognition. He smiled, and relief coursed through me, _of course_ he knew how much I cared.

"Not as much as _I_ love _you_," he answered, playfully, pulling me towards him so that I was sitting in his lap, and he was hugging me from behind. All I wanted to do was sink into his embrace, but I turned around, so that we were face to face.

"I'm serious- I really _really_ care about you, and I'm ready to take the next step... " I say, my palms grow warm and I'm nervous for his reaction, "but... I know that, well... there's something you're not telling me. I want you to know that it's ok." Our eyes met- I wasn't lying. "It's ok if you're not ready- I love you... I can wait." Well... that was debatable, my body was getting desperate. "I can wait!" I repeated, "I'll always wait for you..." As I speak I can see a shadow pass over his handsome features- and he looks down. _It was something I said! _I think frantically to myself, _Is he angry now? Is he mad at me? _But, when the Huntsman opened his mouth to speak, he was neither mad nor angry. Instead his words were laced with a bitter sadness. I had not seen this side of the Huntsman before, making me realize that perhaps I did not know this man as much as I thought I did.

"Red," the Huntsman spoke slowly, as if it hurt to speak. "I haven't told you about... " he trails off and starts over.

"I haven't told you because... it's painful... I want to forget." I don't say anything, and my heart feels heavy. _What happened to the Huntsman? What is _so_ painful that he can't bear to talk about it? _I extended my arm, reaching out and grasping the Huntsmans hand, squeezing it tight. I wanted him to know that I was there for him. _I'm here and I love you. You don't have to carry your pain all by yourself, _I mentally shouted, hoping that somehow he would understand. As if he could hear my thoughts, the Huntsman continued.

"I love you, and I want... I want to live the rest of my life with you- you make me... complete, so..." his speech was halted, "What I'm trying to say is... you deserve to know. It would be unfair if I kept you in the dark."

Huntsman POV:

I exhaled.

"Will you walk with me?" I whispered. I took her hand, and we walked a down the path into the thick of the forest. My stomach was tied in a knot, but I told myself to relax. It's time. I was ready to finally get this off of my chest. After about a minute I was ready to speak.

"I told you, didn't I... the Evil Queen made me her slave because I defied her."

"Yes," she said cautiously.

I wanted so much to change the subject, or to avoid telling the truth for as long as possible, but I forced myself to get it over with.

"That was true, but there's something I didn't tell you. I was ashamed. Because every night... starting the night she took out my heart, she-"

My voice broke. My mouth couldn't form the words.

"-Made me sleep in her bed," I stammered.

Red whispered, "I'm sorry" and bit her lip. I think she knew what I meant, but I hadn't plucked up the courage to just say it. I breathed and continued, and then I couldn't stop, the anger driving me, like a bow firing an arrow straight towards its target.

"But I begged for mercy, kneeling at her feet. And she just laughed, because she knew I would do whatever she said to stay alive. So..."

I couldn't make myself meet Red's eyes. I looked straight ahead and squeezed her hand. I started speaking quickly, nervously, getting to the point.

"...I lost my virginity that night."

Finally, I thought. I told her the whole truth.

"And I didn't enjoy one second of it, but it happened over and over, for months on end. And you know the rest of the story. I escaped. And I told myself I never wanted to be that close to someone ever again. I felt dirty, used, weak. But then you came into my life."

My voice softened, and Red gave me a small, sad smile.

"And that was the first time I loved, but also the first time I... lusted. The Queen might have been good-looking, but her heart was so dark I could never describe her like you. _You_ are beautiful, enchanting. And I've wanted, for a while now, to _touch_ you. I want to _see_ you, _feel_ you... as long as you want it. As long as you would _beg_ for it."

She looked like she was burning to say something, but just listened attentively, taken back by it all.

"But I stopped myself every time we went even a little too far, because I was afraid of what it might lead to. I don't deserve you. My body has been marred by her, and I haven't healed. And... that's why, Red. I don't want to lay with you, with your innocence and perfection. I feel almost as if... you should save yourself. For someone less broken, who feel as if their body is still their own. I don't deserve you."

I took a deep breath as I finish my speech, and I looked back into Red's eyes, and they were full of compassion.

"That's not true," she said, and it's all I need. I kissed her gently on the forehead. It's as much physical contact as I can bear at this moment.

"That's how I feel about it," I say simply.

"But it wasn't your fault," she protested.

"Our circumstances are never our fault. But they are what they are. And I know you don't understand why I... I can't..."

"I may not understand what it feels like to be raped, Huntsman-" she says, and I flinch. Rape. I never- never wanted to think about it that way. I was raped. I am weak.

"Yes, it was rape," she said softly, noticing my reaction.

"But I understand your emotions. When I ran away from my village and ended up here, I felt the same way you do. I felt like I wasn't in control, like I was cursed, undeserving of your kindness... I hated myself for something I did I couldn't control. But I let go of all that. Because of you. And I want the same for you. But sometimes, you can't handle all that pain alone. You needed to tell me."

I broke down. Tears are suddenly streaming down my face.

"Thank you," I said. She nods, wiping my tears away.

"You don't have to forget. You just have to accept that there's nothing you can do, that you could have done. It doesn't define you, and it doesn't make me love you any less. It hurts, but it's over now."

The Huntsman nods.

"I know it's not rational, the way I feel, but that's just the way it is. I just need..."

I pause, unsure. Why do I ache?

"I need you to forgive me. I couldn't carry on any longer without you knowing, because it was almost... a betrayal."

"I forgive you, Huntsman, for not wanting to tell me, for making me wait, for not being able to spend your first time with me. Why wouldn't I forgive you? It's okay."

"Thank you... Thank you so much."

For a moment, there was nothing for us to say. couldn't bear to be with her any longer, I felt so vulnerable.

"I know."

"But I need- just- just some time alone for a while. Can you also do that for me? I need a day... I'll be back by nightfall, I promise. Will you be alright?"

"Yes," she said sadly.

"It's not because I don't love you," I whispered, barely touching her lips with mine.

"I know. I love you too," she whispers as I walked away, not looking back. Tears still fell.

_Red: _

The sun streaked the sky with red and gold, and the glow illuminated his skin, casting a warm glow about him as he lay beside me. My breath caught in my throat as his eyes fluttered open. He saw me and he smiled, reaching out his arms and drawing me near.

My heart thundered as my skin touched his. I felt his warmth as he pushed his lips into mine. He tasted of tears.

"You are the bravest person I know," I managed to say, between kisses, "Telling me- well, that took a lot of courage."

We stayed there, in the red gold light of the morning for a long time- hugging, kissing, not saying a word, but understanding each other all the same.

When he walked away from me last night, I was scared.

He walked away and he didn't look back.

I knew he needed his space. I understood that, but part of me was so scared- scared that he would never come back. I had stayed awake, as long as I could, hoping he would return, but I had dozed off eventually. I had felt so alone- so lost without him by my side. I didn't want to think about the _what if's_. What if the Huntsman had left and never come back? What if I had woken up this morning, and _hadn't_ found him lying next to me?

The Huntsman completed me. Without him, part of me was missing- and that in itself was a scary feeling. Is this what love was supposed to feel like?

Because it hurt. An aching want filled my chest.

But I didn't care, because it was the good kind of hurt.

"I think I am in love," I told him, as we lay by the fire, listening to the burning crackle of the flames, "Head over heels," I added with a laugh. He gave me a charming grin and I knew he knew as our lips touched.

Eventually, the sun starts to sink overhead, reflecting its last rays of light against the clouds- turning the sky purple and pink. I sigh, The Huntsman makes me realize how beautiful everything really is. With him, my world is amazing. Soon, we are left with just the stars and the moon. My huntsman rolls over on his side and points up into the sky. "Look, that's me!" as he gestures upwards and I see the hunter constellation. I smile, but my laughter dies in my throat as I catch sight of the moon. It's nearly full- a shiver of dread runs through me and I shake. The Huntsman puts his arm around me, mistaking my shudder for one of cold- not fear, but it's not like I minded; I snuggled deeper into his arms, savoring his warmth and pushing the cold thought away. Tonight was too perfect to think such things. Almost _too_ perfect, it was surreal.

As we talked, his words were lost on my ears, my eyes trained on his moving lips, his gorgeous eyes, his chiseled face. _This is a dream_ I thought to myself, _Because this is my happy ending, and there are no happy endings in real life. _

But it _was_ real, and it was only the beginning.

Huntsman:

As we talk side by side under the sleeping shelter, I'm trying to listen attentively to her, but she's so distracting. Her clear green eyes, her dramatic cheekbones and full lips, the way her body is curved in all the right places. Those are her best features, but on the whole she is perfect, and her imperfections only add to her perfection.

"Huntsman?" Red asks me gently. I have no idea what she was just saying.

"Oh! I'm sorry. It's just that...You're so beautiful..."

I lean in and kiss her. It feels natural to me now, her lips against mine.

Before I realize what I'm doing, I slip off her cloak, and start unlacing her shirt for the first time. I kiss her more deeply, and she responds in kind. Our tongues dance inside our mouths.

And then it hits me that her shirt is completely unlaced, and would be so easy to take off. I break the kiss.

Red looks at me almost as if through a haze. She kisses the sensitive skin beneath on my neck as she gently takes off my cloak. Then she catches my lips again, cupping my face.

I cannot stop her. I roam my hands through her hair and down her back.

But then I take her hands and squeeze them, and she knows to stop kissing me.

"What's wrong?" she asks.

"I want you," I whisper, exhilarated. "More than I've ever wanted you before."

"Then you can have me," she says, using that sultry tone of voice that is dangerous to speak to men with.

"Because_ I _want it so much, it's killing me," she says.

"Red..."

"I won't make you do anything you don't want to. But you have to let me to whatever I want to you."

She brings my hand to her chest. I feel her heartbeat and her soft flesh. I blush, and feel like I'm burning on the inside.

"I want to fulfill your every desire. It's just that..."

Red brings my hand lower on her body.

"I- I'm scared of what I want to do to you." My voice shakes.

"But you want to. And so do I. Isn't it easier just to give in?"

She removes her hand off her chest and places it over...there. She rubs teasingly.

I feel my arousal in my pants. Fuck. I can't even bring myself to take her hand off me.

She feels my hardness. She rubs a little harder, and I let a groan escape me.

"Well, Huntsman. You don't have a good excuse now."

"No, I don't." I say, whispering into her ear.

I kiss her forceful. I roughly pull off her shirt, and she's wearing some corset kind of device underneath. I begin to unbutton it, my fingers fumbling despite their usual deftness. I'm scared.

Red aggressively pushes her lips against mine as she claws at my shirt. I quickly break the kiss to help her remove it, and then we continue.

She presses her hand against my stomach, which I wasn't expecting. Her hand explores the entire surface of my torso and chest.

I decide the corset is truly useless and finish unbuckling it. And it hits me. Her breasts are bare.

I break the kiss, gasping for breath.

She does not attempt to cover herself. She simply puts her hand on the back of my neck and stares until I raise my eyes to meet hers.

Then she releases me and crawls a little distance away, and turns her back to me. She strips off her shoes and her skirts, then one by one she discards her undergarments. I can only watch, speechless.

She faces me again and slowly approached me, throwing her arms over my shoulders.

"You're incredible," I say. She smiles.

"So I'm good enough for you?"

I reach her and wrap my arms around her waist. I raise my eyes to look into hers.

"You were already the most beautiful women in the world to me."

She smiles and kisses me again, and somehow we manage to get the remainder of my clothes off. I gently push her down on the furs, and lie on top of her.

I shiver from the feeling of so much of her bare skin on mine, and I'm suddenly aware of how small and frail her body is compared to mine. I don't want to hurt her.

I push those thoughts out of my head as I make a downwards trail of kisses. She makes little noises of delight.

It doesn't stop there. Not until the entire race is run, until we both die of pleasure.

Afterwards we collapse next to each other, sweating and breathing heavily. I reach over her and pull her tight, searching her face for emotion. Did it meet her expectations?

"That was amazing," she whispers, smiling.

I grin back at her, inwardly breathing a sigh of relief.

"It really was."

We fall asleep in each other's arms, and I feel like I've conquered the universe.

_Remember those walls I built_

_Well, baby they're tumbling down_

_And they didn't even put up a fight_

_They didn't even make up a sound_

_I found a way to let you in_

_But I never really had a doubt_

_Standing in the light of your halo_

_I got my angel now_

-Halo by Beyonce


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: **

_Huntsman: _

I wake up aware of Red's fingers tracing my cheek. I open my eyes, and there _she_ is.

"Good morning, sleepyhead." she says.

"Good morning," I reply.

I would be tempted to believe that last night never happened, but we are both naked, and I almost feel a tingling in my skin.

"How do you feel?" I ask, concerned. I gently take her hand.

"I kinda feel...sore. I wouldn't want to get up."

"That's fine. Do you want to... talk?"

Red smiles. She places her body against mine. It always find it incredible that we fit together just like puzzle pieces, like we're made for each other.

"How do _you _feel?"

"I've never been happier in my life."

"Me neither," she says sincerely, but she also sounds a little wistful.

She gives me a piercing gaze.

"I've never felt this way, not with Peter. I _love_ you, I _know_ you, I feel like we can have a lifetogether."

I'm truly touched by her words.

"We can't have a future out here in the forest..."

"Maybe we can, or maybe we can live elsewhere, near people. But we don't need to worry about that now, do we?"

Red places a finger on my chest.

"I didn't tell you, but you're pretty too," she says playfully.

"Pretty?"

I kiss her softly, chastely, so different from last night but just as meaningful.

"But you're more than pretty," Red precises. "You're kind, considerate, strong, you got over a major issue, and... I'm not really good as saying this kind of stuff."

"No, you're wonderful at it."

she laughed.

_Red: _

It hurt. It always hurt. I felt scattered, disorganized- wild. I knew the wolf hadn't left my system yet, and that scared me. My senses were heightened, and my ears pricked, my nostrils flared. Something was wrong. Something was terribly wrong.

_Stop overreacting, _I mentally berated myself, _you're being silly, Red. Everything is fine. Just fine. _But who was I trying to convince? I could not ignore the pungent scent that flooded my consciousness and my fears were confirmed by the dark red trail that marked the grass around me.

Blood.

I'd been changing with the Huntsman for months now, but this time, something was different. Where was my chain? It surveyed the clearing: there it was. It was still attached to the sturdy tree, but it was no longer attached to me. I had broken free somehow.

I shakily attempted to stand, but my reeling head sent me back to the cold, hard ground. I felt sick. _Fuck. _

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. _I wretched, but nothing came out. _Good_, I told myself, _At Least you know you didn't eat anything. _Well, if I hadn't eaten anything, why was the grass matted with blood? Why was the air thick with it's sickly stench? And most importantly, where was my huntsman? Being a werewolf is totally not as cool as people make it out to be.

"Red!" I spun around, and my heart leapt with joyous relief. "Red!" He is was running towards me! "Oh, Red!" I threw myself at him and we tumbled to the ground. I was on top of him and I gazed into his beautiful eyes, caressing his face, running my hands through his hair.

"Red..." it's as if he wanted to tell me something, but thought better of it. Instead, he took my face in his hands- his trembling hands. His face engulfed mine, our tongues intertwined, caught in a blaze of passionate fury. His deft fingers snaked around my waist, caressing my body, roaming lower... lower. A moan escaped my lips. I needed this, my body called out for physical contact. My hips thrust forward, colliding with his hardness as I shimmied out of my tattered clothing. My nipples were almost painfully erect- not from the cold; I barely noticed the chilling wind that whipped through the clearing, snapping the branches- I was otherwise occupied. I let out another sensual groan, he was trailing kisses down my neck and the sound was involuntary. "More," I managed to gasp, as I clung to him, my nails digging into his back. In those precious moments, he was my lifeline, my rock. I needed The Huntsman more than ever- in every sense of the phrase. My body cried out for his and I wrapped my fingers in his hair, my ears pricked, listening to his every breath.

"I love you," he proclaimed, running his hands down my spine, cupping my breasts, eliminating the strange pain I felt in my heart, taking away my feeling of impending doom. I swear I could feel my brain melt away as I felt his heated breaths on my cool, damp skin. All my thoughts faded into nothing but primal instinct. It was as if I was the wolf again- I was out of control.  
"Don't stop," I cried out as he ran his warm hands over my stomach- I couldn't help but shiver with delight- my legs parted: an invitation. He entered and our bodies melded. We fit perfectly. This was meant to be, we were made for eachother: this miraculous man was mine. Our chests rose and fell in unison, and our bodies moved in sync. Every little sound he made, every little movement had an orgasmic effect on my body. My suppressed groans and moans evolved into screams and shrieks of ecstasy- I was so alive- animal like- animated... the clenching of my stomach, signaling the cimax. My mouth engulf his as it came over us, my heart racing at a million miles a minute. This was magic.  
"Oh..." I breathed into his neck, as we lay in eachothers arms. I was safe here, with him. I was home: he was my home. My hands circled about his neck, and then I felt something. Something warm and wet and sticky on my hands. I brought it up to my face. Blood.

"Hey!" I say, all remnants of the lingering pleasure gone: replaced by onset panic. "What's this?"

The huntsman laughed, attempting to kiss my worries away, but to no avail. I pulled back. "You're hurt! What happened?" I demanded.

"It's nothing, really, Red."

"Nothing? Nothing?!" I was almost yelling, because, really, I knew what had happened. I took a deep breath. "It was me, wasn't it? I hurt you, and that's why there was blood on the grass? It was your blood, wasn't it?" I faltered, distraught with the truth of what happened, "How bad is it?"

"Not bad, Red. Just a little scrape." He won't meet my gaze, but he pulls me close. "It's ok, we'll deal with this later, but right now we both need our sleep."

"Ok," my voice trembled, but I was tired, so I didn't protest. I laid my head next to his, and we both fall asleep, spooning. _It'll be ok, _ I told myself as I dozed off.

_It is not ok! _The huntsman was still sleeping beside me, arms locked around me like a cage. I had hurt him! I had hurt the man I loved, and that was not ok. All of a sudden, his arms felt too constricting, I drew in a sharp breath and my heart fluttered helplessly: caught in the interlocking confinement of my ribs. I wanted to love him, I wanted to love him forever and always, and I did. I _did_ love him, but can you really love someone who you hurt?  
I got up, restless, shaken, doing my best to slip out of the cage of his embrace without waking him. He looked so peaceful, I could see his muscles clench as his stomach swelled with each incoming breath, and all I wanted to do was curl up in his arms again, but a wall of panic had sprung around me, and no matter how hard I tried, no matter how many deep breaths I took, how many times I shut my eyes and told myself it was all _okay_, I couldn't break it down. I looked down at my hands: pale and trembling, all traces of the wolf gone- I was just a little girl now.

"Red." I jumped, and turned towards the Huntsman: so beautiful as his lips moved slowly, almost incoherently in dreamspeak. "Red," he moaned again, but I turned away- it was almost painful looking at him. I thought I had found my place with the Huntsman, I had been so lost, and he had rescued me- but my shaking fingers curled around the invisible truth that I held, so fragile in my hand, as if I could stop it from escaping: I was still lost, but this time, it was up to me to rescue myself. Slowly, mechanically, I uncurled my fists- my nails had left little moon-like imprints in my skin- how I hated the moon! I hated it for what it did to me.

_No, _I corrected myself, _You do this to yourself. _It was all my fault, wasn't it? I nearly buckled with the weight of what I had done, with the knowledge that I was accountable for the suffering of countless people. _I have to learn to control it! I have to control the wolf. _I could do that, couldn't I? A flame of hope burst into my chest, and I suddenly knew what I had to do: _this is the only way to make things right_, I told myself, but as my glance came to rest on the Huntsman once more, a little seed of doubt was planted in my stomach.

The letter felt heavy in my hand, weighing me down so all I wanted to do was sink to the forest floor and go to sleep. Sleep until everything made sense again. The raging beating of my heart, egging me on. Each step pulling me nearer to my Huntsman.

Uncurling his fingers, gently, oh so gently, savoring each time my fingertips touched his, placing the parchment in his palm. Then, I turned, quickly so that I didn't have to look at him anymore, because it hurt, it hurt to see him: my life- what my life _could_ have been, _would _have been. I crept hesitantly towards the trees, each time my feet brushed against a twig, crackled against the dew laden grass, I cringed, feeling the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end, and the thudding in my chest quicken.

"Dammit," a branch cracked beneath my feet and I froze as the Huntsman moaned in his sleep. _10, 9, 8, 7..._ I counted under my breath, trying to I force myself to keep on going, refusing to look back- if I did, I wouldn't know if I'd be able to go through with this. But I had to. I placed a hesitant foot forward, then another, and another until I was running. I was running far far away and I was hating myself with each step I took. I knew that this was the right thing to do, but there was a churning in my stomach.

_If this is so right, _I wondered, _then why does it feel so wrong? _

_Huntsman:_

As I came into consciousness, I fully expected Red to be there. It was as if she had always been there, I knew each day to reach out for her.

But I was alone. And that was unusual, it was slightly disquieting. It happened sometimes, however, and when I saw the note in my hand I thought she had perhaps gone for some morning errand.

But as soon as I saw the neat, laboured handwriting, the formal salutation, the care in which it was folded, I was hesitant. But I do not suspect much, and I begin reading. And soon I realize this is no ordinary note.

_My Dear Huntsman,_

_I had to. The last thing I want to do is to hurt you, and that's why I couldn't stay with you any longer. I can't live another second knowing you're in danger around me. You deserve better. _

_This isn't easy for me, and it took me a long time to gather up the courage to do what is right. I'm going to miss you with all my heart, and I know you will too, but I've realized that I love you enough that I want what's best for you. _

_I have to stop being the damsel in distress. I have to be strong for once, you've helped me enough times before. I'm so thankful that I've finally met someone who accepted me for who I was, and you and the time we spent together will stay with me forever. You've made me a better person. _

_You know, we never got to choose a name for you, but I realize that we didn't need to. You're everything to me, and you can't put all that into one word. _

_If I stay any longer, I won't be to go through with this. I wish you the best: I want you to be happy. _

_Remember that I will always love you,_

_Red_

I could barely register the words with my eyes, so I whispered them aloud. And right from the beginning, 'I had to' felt like three stabs to the heart. I understood.

I absorbed every other miserable sentence, my hands shaking as my mind struggles to understand what I thought was impossible-

She left me.

There was only pain in that truth. Without thinking, I fell to my knees, tears spilling from my eyes. Not normal tears, tears of hopeless despair. Every breath is ragged. Every thought is incoherent. All I knew is the void of the only love I've ever had.

There was no part of the letter that is not phrased gently, and nothing indicates a lack of love and deep sorrow- but it doesn't matter. She left.

My mourning was eventually replaced with rage as my fingers dug into the ground. I understood that Red was dangerous. I had the wounds to prove it. But though she wanted the best for me- it was not her right to decide for me!

But then a part of me had doubts. Was the letter an excuse for just wanting to leave me?

No, no, I couldn't believe that. Red loved me. We always talked through our problems. But what if I had just had one less temper flare, one less argument...

It was harder to just believe in her. I had tried as hard as possible, and I still couldn't keep her. In theory I understood, appreciated her reasons. But in my heart, I could never have made the same choice.

So she decided to repeat history. Create a cycle, a vicious one at that. And it did make me angry, and bitter. I thought we had saved each other, that we were each other's new past and new beginning. But I was _hopelessly_ in love with her. I had dreamed of our future- maybe starting a family, or a farm...

I wondered if I was wrong to love a runaway. But my faith persisted once more. She had given me strength beyond just physical power, she had washed away the insecurity that had weighed on me for so long.

I know she would not want me to be unhappy, but there was no other option for me. She was my happiness, did she not understand that? And, though the wolf was within her, through her I felt my humanity. I felt myself compassionate, whole.

So many thoughts, running through my head, and I didn't stop sobbing. But I did not stand still, wallowing, for long. I forced myself to my feet. The longer I wait, the less likely I was to find her.

I always carried what I need with me, leaving is no inconvenience. Ironically, I was the one who hardly ever left my home.

Charging forward, I told myself I will find her. She was impulsive, she will change her mind once she has to face me. She will realize what she has done to me. I saw marks on the path, broken branches here and there, and I hoped it is her. I was a hunter, this was my domain, but my head was not clear.

I came to a clearing, and I was at a road. Where was Red going? Where could she live? Would she be... safe?

I was interrupted by the first sign of civilization: a horse-drawn carriage. But the horses were black, and the carriage was black, and the lone woman sitting upon it wore the color as well.

Fear coursed through me when I realized the significance. I bolted again through the forest, but I was already tired. Did she see me?

Suddenly, I tripped and stumbled to the ground. I looked, and see a vine, pulsing and squirming, that has been grown to obstruct me.

"It's been a while, Huntsman," says a sharp voice. It's her.

I whipped my head around, and I see the Queen, in all her glory. Both hands resting on her hips, her fingers twitching, waiting to act.

"No," I mumble, but it is too late. And besides, I was already defeated. It was too late to find Red. And I knew Regina's power, I've seen its fullest extent.

"Did you miss me?" she asked, approaching me. She stretched out her hand, and brushed a finger against my cheek.

"How sweet, crying? What happened, did someone finally break your heart?"

I scowl.

"You know nothing of broken hearts, witch."

She laughed.

"You know what's funny? I do have one. Here," she whispers, taking my arm and pressing it against her breast.

"Do you feel it beating?"

She released me, and with a wave of her arm, my arms were bound by shackles.

"I'm glad to have found you. But I must say, I'm disappointed. This isn't much of a fight."

I don't feel anything as she reclaims me. I hardly existed anymore, not without her. She was gone, and so I was gone.

**The End... **

**but only of ****_this_**** story. **


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